Slowly Fading Magic
There was a moment in my life that I always look to fondly, and it was back in 1st year University. I remember falling in love for the first time with this wonderful girl, and we used to roam around the city aimlessly having fun. Just living in the moment and breathing in the simplicity that life had to offer.
Yet at the same time, there seemed to be so much to see and do, and the world seemed so magical. I guess that’s part of the naivity of that age, but I miss it in a lot of ways. There was a freedom to go and do whatever we wanted, without worrying about things.
I wonder if I can still keep the world “magical” as I get older… or if I’ll continue to slide into the mundane like I am now. I find myself thinking more conservatively, and more “responsibly” with things constantly on my mind. My mind is always darting from one thing to the next, from school to my career to business ideas. It’s just more constant… and when I have free time to myself I have a sense of urgency in the back of my head telling me that I should be doing something productive.
What’s the point of life if one can’t even enjoy the present moment? Everyone’s gotta work, but we work to live and not live to work. I guess this’ll bother me more the closer to graduation I get. School represents that youthful freedom in so many ways… though I can’t wait to finish I know I’ll miss being a student.
I think I’m getting old :-/
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March 7th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Age is only a legality, youth is within your heart, you need the right atmosphere and support to be able to find what feels natural to you. Do all these thoughts in your brain have a voice? Who’s voice is it speaking? Is it your own or somebody else?
Let yourself be inspired LeeMang, to do what you have not done yet to find what you love, don’t let age or “the times” fool you… you’re getting younger, in a matter of a few decades you will have to resort to someone feeding you, cleaning up after you and you might even wear those silly diaper things, again… then there are those many old people who still cycle tour round the world, even at 70!!… because they found that fountain of youth within themselves. Age is selfsuggested. and lust for life. You got that and if there were any place that I could fully see it is up in the mountains, not behind the computer desk. Don’t limit yourself Lee by thinking about the future, that is uncertain. The now is tangeble… can you taste the nectar?
Love you Lee, even when we ran around town aimlessly.